Become Better at Social Media by Avoiding These 16 Mistakes
Cut out these annoyances, and you will be loved and respected online
There was a time when social media was about making connections and providing value for each other.
But somewhere along the way, we got lost. We created more noise than signal, and it all became an unpleasant experience, with nothing to show for the headache. However, I still believe the potential exists for us to provide and receive tremendous value, if we can address the problems which veered us off course.
If you can work on eliminating some of these mistakes, you’ll make the environment a better place for everyone, and you’ll be loved and respected for having done so.
1. Overposting
The person who posts so often and about too many irrelevant things gives the impression they’re starved for attention.
But how does one define too much? More importantly, what is considered a reasonable amount? There’s no magic number, but many people believe more than 3 posts a day is considered excessive unless there’s a specific reason (keeping track of an event, for example). I think this is a pretty good place to start.
There’s no rule, but just keep it interesting and relevant.
2. Politics
Simply, I believe political vitriol is largely why we got to this low point.
There’s little I can say on the subject which hasn’t been said already, but until we can learn to have civil conversations, our energy is better spent elsewhere. We have to turn inward and ask ourselves if we are doing more harm or good. Intentions aside, what are the results of what we do? Are we getting anywhere, or just contributing to a shit show? Is that what you want?
My take: Just don’t.
3. Religion
This is another subject that I feel should be avoided.
Understand whatever you believe, people who hold the same beliefs as you have committed (and are still committing) unspeakable acts in the name of this religion, and there’s no getting around that. You may be an exemplary devotee, but you face such an uphill battle here, your message will probably be lost.
*Exception: If you can demonstrate tolerance and goodwill, and show you live by principle and not dogma, you may gain credibility and add strength to your message.
4. Memes
We’ve already seen it.
5. Workout cults
Crossfit used to be something great when I discovered it back in 2007.
But I have to acknowledge something within the community changed at some point, and the culture de-evolved into a hostile clique of bullies, shamers, and douchebags who incessantly communicate they are better than you because they do CrossFit.
Congratulations. You have effectively turned people off to CrossFit.
I’m not saying that every CrossFitter is a horribly insecure narcissist, because they aren’t. I’m saying some horribly insecure narcissists communicate something so ugly and so loudly that it overpowers everything else. And THAT is reality.
Think about how you portray your brand.
6. Selfies
I don’t have a problem with selfies, and I don’t really understand the people who do.
Happy smiling face with a friend or two, or in a unique environment? I fail to see the problem.
Unless the obvious intention of the selfie is for bragging purposes. See “Bragging”.
7. Sicko
Ever have that friend who is always sick? I mean always sick?
For some reason, the only thing they ever post is about this week’s injury, or cold, or disease. And in the event they aren’t sick at the moment, they find someone who is and post about that. Dude, how are you still alive? You don’t need to be posting, you need to be in the hospital.
More realistically, there’s something else going on here.
8. Spoilers
It’s an interesting age we live in when the concept of the spoiler is an actual thing.
If you want to discuss the surprises of a movie or TV show, please save it for the comments section where someone won’t accidentally see it without purposely clicking on it. A little bit of warning is also a good idea.
But if you are the type of person who just finds pleasure in ruining something for the rest of us, just get the hell out of our lives.
9. Posting while compromised
OK, I’m not going to say not to do this, because the results are often funny the next morning.
But if you’re the type of person who becomes an angry or dangerous drunk, you might want to reconsider. I’m all for some good entertainment, but I don’t want this to become a shit show. That’s not good for anybody.
If you have a reputation which can be damaged, think very carefully about the consequences.
10. Incriminating evidence
Suppose you and I are friends and we go out on a given weekend with other friends.
We’ll probably have a few drinks and some laughs. Maybe we will do or say some crazy shit which will be laughed at, and forgotten about. Or it might have been forgotten about, had somebody not recorded it and posted it for the whole world to see. And now the moment will live forever. If you post incriminating evidence without permission, you are a bad friend.
Always, always, always ask other people before you post anything that involves them.
11. Calling people out
If somebody wrongs us, we may feel the urge to punish them by calling them out online.
Trust me when I say this: Don’t do that. The damage you may or may not inflict on them is minuscule compared to the damage you’ll inflict on yourself for having done it. It makes you look small, petty and fragile. And people don’t have respect for small, petty fragile people.
Confront the person directly, or just take a shit on their car — either are better options.
12. Passive aggressive
With 11 in mind, deciding to talk around it without naming names isn’t any better.
It doesn’t earn any respect from the reader — it just looks like you have and issue with someone or something but don’t have the balls to do anything about it. The critical test: Does your post or story offer some value to the reader (a valuable life lesson, etc) or are you simply throwing a jab at someone?
You know the answer.
13. Conspiracy theorists
How do I say this nicely? Conspiracy theorists are losers.
It’s a certain type of person, and there’s a psychological profile for them. It fills a certain need for them. And it’s always the same dumb premise: A super secret group of powerful people orchestrated an event, and covered it up to make it look like something else, so they could achieve their malevolent goal — but this conspiracy theorist figured it all out! And the bad guys would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for you meddling kids.
Just — shut up.
14. Contrarians
For exactly the same reasons, I’m not a fan of Contrarians either.
These are the people who love to explain to you that everything you like, everything you do, and everything you believe is wrong. They need to be the smartest person in the room. They’re likely to post articles about why they’ll never take their kids to Disneyland. Or why teaching your children to share is wrong.
People like this must be great at parties.
15. Bragging
So here’s the big one — the purpose Facebook was invented: Bragging.
I’m not going to tell you not to, because everyone does it in some way or another. But I will say that how you do it will communicate a lot about you. Done right, people may admire you. Done wrong, you’ll communicate you’re starved for attention and approval.
Here’s the big difference. Are you sharing or showing off?
You already know the answer.
Are you sharing a beautiful sunset in Mexico, or a selfie with you on a boat with a bunch of bikini clad women, with a smirk on your face communicating “Oh it’s no big deal — it’s just my life…”
You know the difference.
It’s like those girls who boast “VIP BITCHES!”
You’re SUPPOSED to be in the VIP. You’re acting like this is something unusual for you.
Just be cool.
16. Multilevel marketing
Please don’t.
OK, let me put it this way: I’m not going to tell you what to do. It’s your business. But I will tell you, not only are you being judged for falling victim to an obvious scam, you’re a bad friend for looking at your friend’s list as potential targets.
If you do it, your reputation will recover.