Create Massive Breakthroughs in Your Life by Challenging Your Limiting Beliefs
This simple but powerful guide will help you identify and blast through a false reality holding you back
What if you were to discover today some core beliefs you have always held about yourself were based on false premises?
This knowledge could change the direction of your life.
I’ve spent over twenty years learning how to identify and deconstruct limiting beliefs within my own life, and I would like to present these lessons so you can figure out how you may have developed false beliefs about yourself. I will show you how to overcome what is holding you back.
Be aware that this is a LOT of work. It is simple, but not easy. But I’m not here to tell you that it is easy. I’m here to tell you that it is possible. The pathway is clear, and these are the tools you will need to overcome the challenges you face.
The Construct of Your Limiting Beliefs
The process is illustrated in the following diagram, which I will break down, piece by piece.
If this looks confusing, don’t worry! I’ll go over everything.
The Problem
1. Inability
This is the starting point of the problem. As honest as you can be with yourself, turn inward and ask: “Where am I, and how did I get here?”
Suppose you are stuck in a low-level job with no opportunity for growth.
Perhaps you have trouble talking to the opposite sex.
Maybe you find yourself on the low end of the social ladder.
Whatever the case, if you find that you are unable to accomplish something, it’s probably because you lack a particular set of skills.
Now while some are born with greater natural abilities than others, environment is a far greater factor in building skills.
For example, children who were neglected by their parents often find themselves lacking the social skills possessed by children who come from nourishing environments.
Social environments are also instrumental in skill-building. People who are surrounded by a reference group of mentors, teachers, and successful friends will have an environment conducive to learning and will gain knowledge and experience simply by being within this space.
Those who never had the benefit of a supportive environment will find themselves at an extreme disadvantage.
2. False Construct
Frustrated, a person may reach the conclusion that there is simply something wrong with them, and the problem cannot be solved.
My father, a person of low ability and confidence would often tell me, “Some people have it, some people don’t, and that’s just the way it is.” He reasoned that there is no need to try to get better because you will never be able to reach a high level of success, therefore it is pointless to try.
Men who are unsuccessful in creating attraction with women may reach the false conclusion that they are being snubbed because they are unattractive or short. The reality is, they haven’t learned how to have a conversation with a woman. Since they have not found the answer, they believe success is impossible.
Our reality is based on our story. What if we got the story wrong?
3. Self Deception
Believing that they are unable to solve the problem, they decide the problem simply isn’t worth solving. And so they rationalize why they are better off not trying.
You may hear someone say things like:
“I’d rather be happy than rich.”
“Attractive women only like dudes with money. She’s probably a b***h anyhow.”
“I should just appreciate the job I have. It’s not so bad, and I wouldn’t want more responsibility.”
When you hear people say these things, understand what is going on.
This is where the problem manifests because a false reality is created around a flawed premise. It prevents a person from facing the problem. But this is the exact opposite of what you should do because facing the problem is the only way to defeat it!
To find comfort, people may surround themselves with others in a similar predicament and reinforce each other’s flawed belief systems. This creates a codependent relationship.
But this becomes tragic.
You may have read somewhere that if you put a crab in a bucket, it will try to escape. But if you have two crabs in the bucket, you won’t need to put a lid on the bucket because they will keep pulling each other back in.
That’s exactly what I’m talking about here.
Unless a person can reach self-awareness, they will stay in a world of self-deception. They will continue to believe that the problem is not solvable, and will not take any steps to move forward in their life.
The Turning Point
4. Self Awareness
This is the critical point.
Self-awareness is a matter of becoming fully aware how we fit into the problem. It is the process by which we begin to question what we’ve always believed to be real. This is the window outside of your reality. It is the place where possibilities exist, independent of the limitations you hold to be real.
This is inherently challenging since we base what we know off of what we know. Unless we can find a way to break through, we will be stuck in an endless feedback loop.
Consider an analogy of spending your entire life inside a room with no windows or doors. How do you get out of the room?
The first step is to realize that there IS an outside.
We begin to reach a point of self-awareness when we recognize we might be lying to ourselves and our self-deception no longer holds up.
We need to get there any way that we can. Perhaps it will be a moment of inspiration. Perhaps you will see someone else do something you didn’t think could be done.
This is the moment where you begin to question the reality you’ve been living under. Use it to move forward, and start asking some very big questions.
The Solution
5. Honesty with Self
Being truly honest with yourself is a process by which you become in tune with your own thoughts and feelings.
This is where you begin to undo the false reality you’ve created.
You become honest with your needs and wants.
You realize that the people who’ve told you what you want to hear, aren’t telling you the truth and aren’t helping solve the problem.
You must commit to take responsibility. Remember, your power comes from responsibility. When you take responsibility for your life, you hold the power. And when you hold the power, you control your destiny.
If the assumptions you’ve been living under weren’t actually true, how would you live your life?
Dare to dream. Be honest and fair to yourself. What is it you really want?
Imagine, down to the smallest detail — what your life would look like if you were already there.
How would you carry yourself?
How would you go about your day?
What kinds of conversations would you have with people?
Develop this picture in your mind. This is your destination.
6. Challenge the Construct
Once you have become honest with yourself, you can confront the problem directly.
It might help to do an audit on your life, to determine how you came to develop these limiting beliefs in the first place. If you are just now becoming self-aware, it may go very deep. Consider the messaging you received throughout your life.
And deconstruct everything.
Discover why you believe what you believe. Start digging. You will be surprised.
You may find some facades will crumble. You will discover things you never expected to find. It probably goes a lot deeper than you realized.
Expect to get a lot of resistance. You’ll see people act very differently toward you when you begin questioning things. They’ll become defensive. They may lash out. This means you are probably on to something.
You may discover you have been misled by some people close to you — some out of ignorance, some for selfish reasons, and others out of self-preservation.
Those who aren’t ready to face the truth in their own lives will act like they are fighting for survival. Know you may lose some relationships, but this is your journey, not theirs.
With the lies swept aside, you will be left with fantastic news.
The fact is, skills are learnable. If you are unable to do something, you just haven’t learned how to do it yet. But you can learn. People can take classes to learn a skill, or hire a coach, or find a mentor to teach you. We have the ability to learn.
And this changes everything.
It is possible. There is a path to get there. Let everything else melt away. The deception, the false reality, all the lies you used to tell yourself — none of that matters anymore. Because you can get what you want.
But it’s going to take work.
7. Taking Responsibility
Once you see the future is open, you take ownership. It is on you to figure out how to accomplish what you want and go about making it happen.
It might take some adjustment to look at the new now, no longer constrained by a past which wasn’t even real. What matters is you have reached this point. Think about it for a second. It’s a huge accomplishment you got here.
But knowing the path and walking it are two different things. Now you must own your life and take action.
Responsibility is power.
You must commit to taking responsibility. Remember, your power comes from responsibility. When you take responsibility for your life, you hold the power. And when you hold the power, you control your destiny.
Develop a process. Start by changing problems into questions. Go from “I don’t know how to accomplish this” to “how can I accomplish this?” You’ll find the answer often turns out to be “who, not how.”
A good starting point is to find people who have accomplished what you want to accomplish and learn from them. Successful people enjoy teaching others and welcome enthusiastic people.
Spend a lot of time immersed in learning. Gain experience and practice as much as you can. Regularly meet with people who are heading in the same direction. Learn how they think, and adopt their thought processes.
You will find your old unsuccessful patterns slipping away as they are replaced with new ideas and strategies. Your mindset will change, and you’ll find yourself a lot more optimistic as things start to align and you gather more and more victories.
You might not notice much at first, but one day you will look back, see that you have climbed a mountain, and realize that you are exactly where you want to be!