“It ain’t that I’m too big to listen to the rumors
It’s just that I’m too damn big to pay attention to ‘em
That’s the difference”
Sometimes, you just have to catch yourself.
Listen, it happens to all of us. I’m not going to pretend I never have a negative thought enter my head.
Occasionally I’ll encounter someone incredibly ridiculous, which usually happens after I have a big win. But I stop myself from responding, because I have to remember I’m the one in control here.
Whenever you accomplish something, you’re always going to have some someone who tries to diminish your accomplishment. It is absolutely part of the game, and it’s uncanny how it plays out so predictably, almost as if it’s part of a formula.
It’s the nature of the beast
Go onto Amazon and read the reviews of a bunch of bestsellers. I’m talking books, movies, music… name it. And what you’ll find over and over again is each of these works will get about 5% one star reviews. That means 5% of all reviewers decided to put in enough energy to leave a negative review.
Think about that…
Look, most of the time, if you don’t really care for something, do you invest much energy into it? No! Typically, you shrug your shoulders and focus on the things that do interest you. So I do find it telling when a person would go out of their way to diminish something.
The reality is, it’s probably a “them” thing. You’re just a convenient target.
So if this happens to you, don’t play victim. Understand it is what it is.
Reacting to it is not a good look for you, and you end up playing into their game.
Behind the curtain
If someone is unable to accomplish something in their life, they do one of two things:
They figure out what skills they are lacking, commit to fix it, surround themselves with people who are doing the things they want to do, and put in the time and effort to learn and practice toward their goal until they crush it.
They decide the problem can’t be solved, or isn’t worth investing the time or energy. They tell themselves they really didn’t want it anyhow.
When they see you trying to do what they weren’t able to do, first they’ll try to mock you. They’ll be sure to point out everytime you try and fail.
But if you do end up victorious, understand the implications of what you’ve done. You’re fucking with their universe. Now it’s a deep problem for them because their self-deception is under fire. They have to stare deep into their souls and consider the possibility they have been lying to themselves all this time.
And they do not want to have that conversation with themselves.
Their solution? Double down! They go on the offensive and try to delegitimize your accomplishment, play it down, justify it as luck or privilege, call it a fix or a conspiracy, or come up with any other reason why you were able to do it and they can’t.
Understand what’s happening. They’re fighting a battle with themselves, and you have inadvertently caused a crisis in their life. That’s why they’re reacting so harshly toward you.
How to respond
Here’s what you should do if this happens:
Don’t give them the energy. Remember, trolling is a beta tactic, and they’re simply trying to knock you down. But by doing so, they’re implicitly acknowledging they consider themselves betas. It’s an act of submission, and you haven’t even done a damn thing.
Instead, come from a place of benevolence and generosity.
Why would you do such a thing for someone who has come at you and attacked you?
Because it’s a sign of true power. Despite their shitty behavior, you’re unflappable. Your attitude and behavior influence the outcome, not theirs.
The greatest thing a person could do for someone else is to inspire them. So be that person.
Look, they’re coming at you because there’s a hole in their life they don’t think can be filled. It’s like they’re starving and you are gorging yourself at the buffet. That’s why they hate you. So invite them in. Offer them some equity. Show them there’s a path from here to there, and suggest with a simple shift in mindset, they might be able to see it.
But… ONLY if they are willing to take responsibility for their lives and do what needs to be done.
That’s a decision you can’t make for them. It’s outside your boundary.
But no matter what, always be the one to bring the good energy.
And that concludes this week’s newsletter. Until next time, keep stepping!